99 Attempts to Scare Haruhi
by One with the Purple Eyes
Summary: Nekozawa is trying to scare Haruhi. But nothing is working. Read my story "Scaring Haruhi" to see the one that works... haven't gotten there yet in that story though, but coming soon


99 Attempts to scare Haruhi

Drop Berenoff on Haruhi's head

Replace his lunch with rotted food

Replace his textbook with runic cursed books

Put a fake severed head under Haruhi's desk

Write a fake love letter to Haruhi from Renge

Draw naked people all over his notebooks

Write a fake love letter from Kyoya to Haruhi

Throw fake spider at him

Throw real spiders at him

Hire someone to say "here comes the birthday boy" every time he enters the room

Doom piano music on the piano without a player in music room 3

Throw fake snakes on Haruhi

Put a real nonpoisonous snake that looks very poisonous in Haruhi's bag

Drop a bucket of water on him

Replace his money with balony (but hide his money somewhere he can find it)

Replace his pens and pencils with bones

Print a fake "WANTED HARUHI" sign and distribute around campus

Convince Haruhi the open notes test wasn't open notes and he cheated

Put marbles in front of him so he'll trip

Throw banana peels in front of him every waking moment

Follow him home

Nearly run him over with a limo

Kidnap him

Convince, well, try to convince him instant coffee makes your brain explode if you have too much

Put him in charge of the school dance

Put origami spiders, bats, and other creepy materia in his bags, unfold to reveal fake curses towards him

Actually curse him to be scared

Put his underwear on the flagpole…well, underwear that says Fujioka-san on it

Give him a gift of food that turns out to be filled with worms and ants

Throw a soccer ball at his spot…

Convince him he has an uncommon disease, well, try again

Convince him Tamaki is in love with him…okay, maybe this boy is gay

Send a fake love note from Momoko

Charge him for crossing my path

Sends tons of black cats after him

Convince him the soda I gave him might be the poisoned one…

Put a picture of Tamaki on his mirror (so he'll wakeup and think he switched bodies)

Put a fake dead body in the clubroom

Change his report card to say he is failing everything

Put posters of unicorns on his desk for him

Draw unicorns all on his notebooks

Photoshop a picture of him with a unicorn horn

So he's not afraid of unicorns…post a picture of Kyoya in the mornings

Post a picture of Hunny in the mornings

Fake telegram saying his father is in jail

Whisper creepy stories into his ear every time I pass him

Replace his uniform with a pink one

Hide all his homework

Send black magic club members (females) to the host club to request Haruhi

Put a pink wig on him when he's not looking…(he's always looking)

Force him to enter the Black Magic Clubroom

Put him through a scary test

Nail his books to the wall with a message in blood. "Haruhi, you will be next."

Replace his soy milk with goat milk

Make him read Twilight series, every page of every book

Make him watch all high school musical movies

Make him stare at Zac Efron for twenty-four hours

Make him pretend to be Ashley Tisdale in front of the host club

Invite him to my house

Pick him up in a hearse

Let him get lost in the garden

Put him in a pitch dark room

Convince Tamaki to dress up like my twin for a day and try a double scare

Convince him Kyoya/Tamaki fan fiction is real

Tell him his mother is waiting for him in the Black Magic clubroom

Tell him Darth Vader is his real father

Hug him really tightly and claim I am trying to squeeze the bad spirits out of him

Convince him the host club only wanted him to join so they could rape him

Convince him the black magic club is full of lovely people who mean him no harm

Get everyone to call him cute for a day, mostly boys

Stick a foxtail on him and accuse him of being a furry, in front of the host club while in session

Sell "Haruhi" underwear to girls (once again just has his name on it)

Tell him he has a week to live

Curse fan boys to come after him

Send 52 roses to his house with a message that in eight days the roses will be gone, as will you

Send pictures of Tamaki and other host club members photoshopped onto female bodies

Go with him to his house with a curse detector, rig it to beep like crazy at his house

Pinch him randomly when he doesn't expect it (only works once, the doesn't expect part…)

Tell him that instant ramen has been recalled from every shop in town

Convince him aliens are going to take over the planet…try to, at least

Poke him

Write his name all over a cursed doll and throw it at him

Put jelly in his lunch bag instead of food.

Bring him in the clubroom for scary ghost stories

Act out the stories in real life the next day

Tell him Kirimi is out to get him

Write him bad poetry about anything and everything

Remind him he has an exam next hour (every class)

Sing songs from Phantom of the opera to him "sing to me my angel of music!" "…"

Try to make Haruhi think I'm in dire danger

Put a recorder in Haruhi's bag that every night will play a track just whispering his name

Put a cracked mirror in from of his face.

Make him walk under every ladder

Make him step on every crack in the sidewalk

Make him walk my friend's ferocious Labrador

Convince him to walk over quicksand

Convince him there are crocodiles in the fountain

Make him think he drank beer

Kiss him on the lips

Results: 99 Fails


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